Home

It's been over a week since I first landed in American soil- 9 days to be exact- and I still haven't found a way to sum up just how strange I've been feeling. It all started when I had to pay for a single dose of Dayquil with a handful of coins and I couldn't remember the difference between a nickel and a dime. I spent a good minute or two trying to sort out all these irrational, worthless coins that I barely recognized, something I hadn't thought would be so confusing but that was. It all sort of just hit me from there. I wrote a really poetic analogy the other day of how it was like a dull force shooting straight at me and striking me in slow-motion, something I do a lot when I'm too overwhelmed to actually face the situation I'm in. I guess you could say I turn to metaphors when some turn to alcohol. Ahem. Anyways. It's weird being home. It's even weirder being home as an entirely different person. I feel so torn and confused and fuzzy. I ought to start making giant lists, but even that seems a task far too daunting for me.
Quite honestly, it's not even that I wish I was back in Spain. I do miss it and my friends and my family there, but I'm glad I'm in Bend. I'm just not so glad that I have to make this giant transition when everyone around me seems to think that I should be sliding back into the position I left.
Thus ends the fabulous year abroad adventure.

And the adventure continues...

One of the biggest things that was drilled into our heads in RYE training weekends last year was the idea of being flexible. In fact, tell any past or present Rotary exchange student to be flexible and they'll either cringe or chuckle a little bit. During the last 5 months I've taken this mantra to heart and tried my hardest to go along with whatever my surroundings offered up to me. It proved to be a bit challenging when I found that I wasn't exactly fitting in with said surroundings. I felt more like I was being shaped and molded specifically instead of guided through my exchange. But I accepted it as part of the challenge and worked my hardest to try and have a good time, or at least a good experience.
This week, though, something cracked. It wasn't me. It wasn't my host family. It wasn't school. It wasn't Rotary. It was just my entire exchange. To be honest, everything moved so quickly I couldn't even begin to explain what exactly what happened. Four days ago it was just another day. I had no idea that today I'd be packing up my entire life to relocate and restart my exchange on an 18 hour notice.
My tutor decided it would be a good idea for me to move, and I agree. This means going to a different city. This means a new beginning completely. I'll be at a new school. I'll be in a new house. I'm going to have to find new friends and a new ballet class. Some would take this as a shock, an obstacle, a reason to give up. And while I am freaking out a little bit, I'm staying calm by reminding myself to just be flexible. This is not a problem. This is a continuation of the adventure. I'm so excited to try my hand at an exchange in a different city in a different situation.

Sunshine and ocean air, I'm on my way

As soon as I received my visa, everything has seemed to move along pretty quickly. I found out yesterday that I would for sure be on the 7:30 plane out of Portland and on my way to Malaga, meaning I leave tonight to stay in Portland overnight.
I thought I was prepared for this- honestly, I did! I've been waiting nearly four weeks for this day now (actually, much longer than that; but that's how long I've been ready to go and packed and all that jazz), but once it got here everything's gone by so fast I feel lost in a whirlwind. All of a sudden I have 24 (well, 3 now) hours to say goodbye to everyone I love. I didn't know I liked so many people until it came time to have to leave them for eleven months.
I'm still getting used to the fact that I will not sleep in my bed for close to a year. I'm still getting used to the fact that after I drop him off at work, I won't see my brother for a very long time. I'm still getting used to the fact that I won't get puppy love and tree climbing when I go to the Nopps'. I'm still getting used to the fact that I made several very strong girls cry today when I had to give them one final hug- man, was that hard. Saying goodbye to my best friends in the whole world was not something I'd care to repeat!
This is all part of the adventure; the nervousness, the stress, the sadness. And that makes me okay with all of it.

Visa Standoff

Now not only do I not know when I'm leaving, but there's a possibility it might not be for a very very long time. I just heard that there's a bit of an argument going on between the Spanish consulate and the Spanish government that's been preventing everyone but 2 people from getting their visas. Ahh, to be one of those two people... Unfortunately, I'm not.
I guess I'll know in the next month when I'll be leaving but for now, there's really nothing I can do about it.

Postponed Until Further Notice

So, my original departure date was supposed to be September 5th, which would be in two days. However, considering I'd be getting on the plane in 48 hours and still don't have my Visa, passport, or plane tickets I'm going to say it's safe to assume that I will not be leaving on Monday.
This means that I've told everyone goodbye, packed my bags, and turned my room into the guest room a bit early. What am I supposed to do now? It's not like I know when I'm leaving now so I can't plan out the rest of my Oregon time in accordance...
I guess what's left for me to do is wait. I'm not a particularly patient person, so this may be hard for me. All I really want to do right now is walk, jet lagged and dirty, off a plane onto foreign soil. But, again... I have to wait.