It's been over a week since I first landed in American soil- 9 days to be exact- and I still haven't found a way to sum up just how strange I've been feeling. It all started when I had to pay for a single dose of Dayquil with a handful of coins and I couldn't remember the difference between a nickel and a dime. I spent a good minute or two trying to sort out all these irrational, worthless coins that I barely recognized, something I hadn't thought would be so confusing but that was. It all sort of just hit me from there. I wrote a really poetic analogy the other day of how it was like a dull force shooting straight at me and striking me in slow-motion, something I do a lot when I'm too overwhelmed to actually face the situation I'm in. I guess you could say I turn to metaphors when some turn to alcohol. Ahem. Anyways. It's weird being home. It's even weirder being home as an entirely different person. I feel so torn and confused and fuzzy. I ought to start making giant lists, but even that seems a task far too daunting for me.
Quite honestly, it's not even that I wish I was back in Spain. I do miss it and my friends and my family there, but I'm glad I'm in Bend. I'm just not so glad that I have to make this giant transition when everyone around me seems to think that I should be sliding back into the position I left.
Thus ends the fabulous year abroad adventure.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
It's Kind Of a Funny Story
Today something really embarrassing happened, but before I tell you I'd like to say that I have a new article on Domestic Square Peg! It was on the front page at some point, but it relates to my little story. If you have time, it'd be great for you to read it. If not, here's the jist of it: I'm failing school and it puts me in some uncomfortable situations.
One of the biggest ways we learn here in Spanish school is through taking tests. I can say without a doubt that I have gotten a 10% on the last, like, forty tests I've had to take. On the History test I took on Friday about the Cold War, I probably knew how to answer two of the ten questions. I used to consider myself smart, or at least not stupid, but I've definitely started to question myself in the last couple months. So, on this History test, I had about 45 minutes left over after answering those two questions, and I decided to write a list at the bottom of the test of things that I DO know how to do to make myself feel a little bit better. Things like "how to read Hebrew" and "how to properly use a semicolon" and "how to Photoshop Chewbacca into a convertible" made this list.
First of all, may I admit that I didn't think my History teacher knew how to speak any English. He's tried talking to me in English before, and as far as I could tell it was at a pretty elementary level. Turns out he can read English, though, or at least put it into Google Translate and figure out what I was saying. So when he handed back our tests today, instead of handing mine to me and lecturing me on my study habits like he normally does, he told me loudly that NO ONE thought I was dumb and that I didn't need to prove myself to him. One of the kids I sit next to overheard and asked what he was talking about, and my teacher proceeded to read off my list of things that I know how to do to the entire class, translating when necessary. It was a long and painful process. Also, now all the kids in my class know that I pride myself in my knowledge of 70's punk lyrics.
At least they don't think I'm stupid, though.
One of the biggest ways we learn here in Spanish school is through taking tests. I can say without a doubt that I have gotten a 10% on the last, like, forty tests I've had to take. On the History test I took on Friday about the Cold War, I probably knew how to answer two of the ten questions. I used to consider myself smart, or at least not stupid, but I've definitely started to question myself in the last couple months. So, on this History test, I had about 45 minutes left over after answering those two questions, and I decided to write a list at the bottom of the test of things that I DO know how to do to make myself feel a little bit better. Things like "how to read Hebrew" and "how to properly use a semicolon" and "how to Photoshop Chewbacca into a convertible" made this list.
First of all, may I admit that I didn't think my History teacher knew how to speak any English. He's tried talking to me in English before, and as far as I could tell it was at a pretty elementary level. Turns out he can read English, though, or at least put it into Google Translate and figure out what I was saying. So when he handed back our tests today, instead of handing mine to me and lecturing me on my study habits like he normally does, he told me loudly that NO ONE thought I was dumb and that I didn't need to prove myself to him. One of the kids I sit next to overheard and asked what he was talking about, and my teacher proceeded to read off my list of things that I know how to do to the entire class, translating when necessary. It was a long and painful process. Also, now all the kids in my class know that I pride myself in my knowledge of 70's punk lyrics.
At least they don't think I'm stupid, though.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Depende
As a student ambassador for the country of America, I'm quite often asked questions that require an exceptionally assumptive answer. It gets rather annoying, having to make broad generalizations about one of the biggest countries in the world, especially over and over again. So, I repeatedly give the same answer: "depende." Here are some examples of questions to which I respond with "depends."
- Do Americans eat fast food all the time?
- Do you go far away for university?
- Is it easy to pass classes?
- What're the traditional foods that Americans eat?
- Is there a beach really close by?
- Are there a lot of Muslims/blacks/Asians etc.?
- Are there gangs?
I'm sure I'll be updating this as new ones come along. But the moral of the story is, there are very few things that you can say that would accurately sum up all of America.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
One Month
Hello fans, followers, friends, and family! This Sunday marked one month until my return date, and my feelings about it are beginning to grow more and more mixed. As I come to the end of my exchange, I find that I'm not so sure I want to leave, while at the same time I'm anxious to go home and see all those things I've been missing all year. So, there's that.
When I began this post I was going to give it a topic, a thesis or something. In short, it was going to have a point. But I haven't got a point to make so today I'm just going to talk. That happens sometimes, as a person and as a writer. Sometimes we just ramble on about nothing. So here's my ramble.
My host parents are amazing. Like, not just as host parents/people to live with, but as people in general. I tell them that sometimes, thank them for feeding me or washing my sheets or whatever, and they tell me it's human decency. There are two things I say to that: first of all, that their kindness extends far beyond human decency. Second of all, human decency isn't exactly a trait possessed by all nowadays. So it's appreciated when people aren't rude and stuff.
The lovely people over at Domestic Square Peg have recently published something I wrote about adjusting to living abroad. It's one of a 5 part series, so I'll be on there for a month or two. I've included a link on the sidebar. It's seriously an awesome opportunity, and I'm really grateful to be able to be provided with it.
I was in Marbella for most of last week while my host parents were in Madrid, and was able to see with Nina, Matthew, and Josie which was simply lovely. I love travelling, and even though I'm on one big adventure just living here it's nice to be able to travel while here.
One of the biggest things I miss from America is doing things during the day as opposed to the night. "Going out" (leaving the house with friends from like 8-12) is the biggest way to pass time with other people, and I unfortunately inherited the urge to be in bed by 10 from my parents (thanks for that, by the way). I'd much rather go adventuring until 6 or 7, go home, eat, read, and go to sleep, but that doesn't happen like ever here. Oh well, just something I'll be able to appreciate more upon returning.
I'm starting to prepare for the next school year and it's both exciting and nerve-racking. I'm so excited to actually DO things next year- be a yearbook editor, be in the school musical, take dance classes, go skiing, apply for college, do schoolwork, have a job, etc. At the same time, I'm realizing just how much I want to do and how much time/energy it's going to take up. Not being involved in school this year has made me significantly lazier, and I'm worried about how that's going to affect me in my senior year. But still, I'm mostly excited... Even though AP summer homework is already kind of kicking my butt.
I guess that's what's on my mind. That and beach... Living this close to the beach is amazing. Seriously.
OK bye.
When I began this post I was going to give it a topic, a thesis or something. In short, it was going to have a point. But I haven't got a point to make so today I'm just going to talk. That happens sometimes, as a person and as a writer. Sometimes we just ramble on about nothing. So here's my ramble.
My host parents are amazing. Like, not just as host parents/people to live with, but as people in general. I tell them that sometimes, thank them for feeding me or washing my sheets or whatever, and they tell me it's human decency. There are two things I say to that: first of all, that their kindness extends far beyond human decency. Second of all, human decency isn't exactly a trait possessed by all nowadays. So it's appreciated when people aren't rude and stuff.
The lovely people over at Domestic Square Peg have recently published something I wrote about adjusting to living abroad. It's one of a 5 part series, so I'll be on there for a month or two. I've included a link on the sidebar. It's seriously an awesome opportunity, and I'm really grateful to be able to be provided with it.
I was in Marbella for most of last week while my host parents were in Madrid, and was able to see with Nina, Matthew, and Josie which was simply lovely. I love travelling, and even though I'm on one big adventure just living here it's nice to be able to travel while here.
One of the biggest things I miss from America is doing things during the day as opposed to the night. "Going out" (leaving the house with friends from like 8-12) is the biggest way to pass time with other people, and I unfortunately inherited the urge to be in bed by 10 from my parents (thanks for that, by the way). I'd much rather go adventuring until 6 or 7, go home, eat, read, and go to sleep, but that doesn't happen like ever here. Oh well, just something I'll be able to appreciate more upon returning.
I'm starting to prepare for the next school year and it's both exciting and nerve-racking. I'm so excited to actually DO things next year- be a yearbook editor, be in the school musical, take dance classes, go skiing, apply for college, do schoolwork, have a job, etc. At the same time, I'm realizing just how much I want to do and how much time/energy it's going to take up. Not being involved in school this year has made me significantly lazier, and I'm worried about how that's going to affect me in my senior year. But still, I'm mostly excited... Even though AP summer homework is already kind of kicking my butt.
I guess that's what's on my mind. That and beach... Living this close to the beach is amazing. Seriously.
OK bye.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Huelga Day Thursday
Quite frequently, I have days of school off for no particular reason. The day after Halloween there was no school, there have been several examples of "world pride days" that excuse us from class (the last being a two day fair with booths representing countries around the world), and every so often many students choose to participate in something called a "huelga". Huelgas are protests against government decisions, some of them just for students or just for workers or just for teachers, but most of them are for the general public. While there is, of course, meaning behind these days, they're mostly used as an excuse for students to not go to school.
The day that I write this is a day of unofficial student Huelga. There are only 7 of us in my classes that are normally upwards of 30. This particular huelga is currently the subject of a grand debate between teachers and students. See, because it's "unofficial" many teachers argue that the students shouldn't be allowed to attend the protest and still have their absence excused from school, especially because they know that most students who miss school on huelga days are at the beach or going shopping or studying as opposed to taking part in the protest.
What makes a huelga official? That I do not know. To be honest, this whole protest-whenever-something-goes-wrong method the Spanish have adapted when dealing with problems confuses me to bits. I was raised to address a problem head-on; not shout at it for a couple hours every couple of weeks. But that's another story. The point is, I don't understand huelgas, but I do know that they're insanely popular. Turn on the Spanish news at nearly any time of day and there's guaranteed to be a story on a huelga in some part of the country. This seems to be the Spanish solution to things they disagree with in the government. Of course, someone always disagrees with a choice the government has made, so there's always a huelga in action.
I've never actually been to a huelga, which I think you should know before I try to describe one. In Malaga, my host families didn't approve the exchange student participating in them, so every huelga day was yet another day I went to school. Here I don't have to go if I know for a fact that practically no one will be in class, but the actual protest itself is an hour away by train. That said, I watch the news enough to have at least an idea of what a huelga looks like.
For starters, it looks a lot like American protests, only the signs are in Spanish and they're much more frequent. People coordinate what they're going to yell through the megaphone to spread the message or whatever. The ones I've seen in person at night that workers take part in consist of a parade-type-thing and a lot of loud people. Their signs are all the same colors and designs, and they'll probably be reused in a week and a half. In bigger cities, like Madrid and Barcelona, they can get out of hand and grow to be several days of breaking glass and lighting things on fire. To my knowledge, these huelgas have not influenced the Spanish government to do anything besides send the police force to control some of the more rowdy protesters.
I'm not going to give my opinion on this practice, though I've subconsciously made it painfully evident already. I didn't make this exchange blog so I could write down my obnoxiously opinionated views on some of the differences I've seen between America and Spain. So, I'm going to leave it at this. This has been an educational entry about the Spanish protests, or "huelga's". Have a nice day, wherever in the world you are.
The day that I write this is a day of unofficial student Huelga. There are only 7 of us in my classes that are normally upwards of 30. This particular huelga is currently the subject of a grand debate between teachers and students. See, because it's "unofficial" many teachers argue that the students shouldn't be allowed to attend the protest and still have their absence excused from school, especially because they know that most students who miss school on huelga days are at the beach or going shopping or studying as opposed to taking part in the protest.
What makes a huelga official? That I do not know. To be honest, this whole protest-whenever-something-goes-wrong method the Spanish have adapted when dealing with problems confuses me to bits. I was raised to address a problem head-on; not shout at it for a couple hours every couple of weeks. But that's another story. The point is, I don't understand huelgas, but I do know that they're insanely popular. Turn on the Spanish news at nearly any time of day and there's guaranteed to be a story on a huelga in some part of the country. This seems to be the Spanish solution to things they disagree with in the government. Of course, someone always disagrees with a choice the government has made, so there's always a huelga in action.
I've never actually been to a huelga, which I think you should know before I try to describe one. In Malaga, my host families didn't approve the exchange student participating in them, so every huelga day was yet another day I went to school. Here I don't have to go if I know for a fact that practically no one will be in class, but the actual protest itself is an hour away by train. That said, I watch the news enough to have at least an idea of what a huelga looks like.
For starters, it looks a lot like American protests, only the signs are in Spanish and they're much more frequent. People coordinate what they're going to yell through the megaphone to spread the message or whatever. The ones I've seen in person at night that workers take part in consist of a parade-type-thing and a lot of loud people. Their signs are all the same colors and designs, and they'll probably be reused in a week and a half. In bigger cities, like Madrid and Barcelona, they can get out of hand and grow to be several days of breaking glass and lighting things on fire. To my knowledge, these huelgas have not influenced the Spanish government to do anything besides send the police force to control some of the more rowdy protesters.
I'm not going to give my opinion on this practice, though I've subconsciously made it painfully evident already. I didn't make this exchange blog so I could write down my obnoxiously opinionated views on some of the differences I've seen between America and Spain. So, I'm going to leave it at this. This has been an educational entry about the Spanish protests, or "huelga's". Have a nice day, wherever in the world you are.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Today is Wednesday
Hello everybody! Today is Wednesday and it's my first day back to school after two days off. Spain has a lot of random holidays that we get school off for, and this time it was for a world fair or something. I don't really know. I was sick all weekend (still have a bad cough and a bit of a headache) so I didn't get to go, which is a bummer but I guess that happens.
A couple days ago my mom told me over Skype (something that's become more and more recent in the last few weeks) that the wonderful crew over at Domestic Square Peg would like me to write a series of 5 articles for their teen section about my experience adjusting to a different culture. I'm really excited- I always love an opportunity to get my work published! However, I do need some ideas on what to write them about. I feel like I've gone through so much that, if it were up to me, I'd write an entire (very opinionated) autobiography on this year. That would certainly exceed my 200-500 word limit, so if you have any ideas, please share them!
I passed the 7 month mark yesterday and, while I'm pretty much ready to go home, the idea that I only have two more months here scares me. Especially living in a new town, I feel like I have so much more that I'm supposed to do with this experience. I'm constantly comparing my exchange year with those of other exchange students that I know, and I feel like I'm supposed to be doing more than I have. This is silly because I'm obviously going to have a different experience than other people. This is scary because I don't want to look back and regret not doing enough this year.
My iPod broke on Friday (something about bad software, according to Yahoo Answers and the Apple forums). This happened to me once back home, and it was completely devastating. It occupied me for weeks, and I do believe I may have cried once or twice. Here, it was just another thing that happened. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I mentally made a list of solutions, and decided not to worry about it until there was something I could do. While this may not be a story relevant to my actual experience here, I do believe it shows a lot about what I've learned during these last couple months. Apparently whatever it is I'm learning here is applicable in "real life" situations.
Other than that, nothing's really going on in my life. I've been watching Disney movies and eating bizcocho and walking to and from school and trying to pay attention in Filosofia and speaking Spanish. Life isn't super exciting, but it's not bad either. I'd even go so far as to say I might just be content with it.
A couple days ago my mom told me over Skype (something that's become more and more recent in the last few weeks) that the wonderful crew over at Domestic Square Peg would like me to write a series of 5 articles for their teen section about my experience adjusting to a different culture. I'm really excited- I always love an opportunity to get my work published! However, I do need some ideas on what to write them about. I feel like I've gone through so much that, if it were up to me, I'd write an entire (very opinionated) autobiography on this year. That would certainly exceed my 200-500 word limit, so if you have any ideas, please share them!
I passed the 7 month mark yesterday and, while I'm pretty much ready to go home, the idea that I only have two more months here scares me. Especially living in a new town, I feel like I have so much more that I'm supposed to do with this experience. I'm constantly comparing my exchange year with those of other exchange students that I know, and I feel like I'm supposed to be doing more than I have. This is silly because I'm obviously going to have a different experience than other people. This is scary because I don't want to look back and regret not doing enough this year.
My iPod broke on Friday (something about bad software, according to Yahoo Answers and the Apple forums). This happened to me once back home, and it was completely devastating. It occupied me for weeks, and I do believe I may have cried once or twice. Here, it was just another thing that happened. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I mentally made a list of solutions, and decided not to worry about it until there was something I could do. While this may not be a story relevant to my actual experience here, I do believe it shows a lot about what I've learned during these last couple months. Apparently whatever it is I'm learning here is applicable in "real life" situations.
Other than that, nothing's really going on in my life. I've been watching Disney movies and eating bizcocho and walking to and from school and trying to pay attention in Filosofia and speaking Spanish. Life isn't super exciting, but it's not bad either. I'd even go so far as to say I might just be content with it.
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